I have found that, while extremely challenging, co-parenting in a separated family can absolutely be a success. There is ONE KEY FACTOR for that success though and I’m going to share that secret with you now. Are you ready?! Here goes…
I’m going to take a guess that you have a secret. You’ve got some things hanging out hiding down in the deep places of your heart. You have this recurring dream that you wake up in the morning inspired by but then you don’t tell anyone about it.
I’ve had some major life changes recently. That seems to be the way it goes for me. Smooth sailing then an upset. Bills being paid then NOPE. My pants fit then WAAAAAIT JUST A DAMN SECOND!? The latest life shock has caused me to really take an honest look at how important my integrity is.
Things happen. Everyday. They just keep on happening. The beautifully joyous things. The surprisingly intoxicating things. The unexpectedly motivating things. And yes, the devastatingly shocking things that send us into a tail spin when we least expect it. Those happen, too. A lot, yes? Yes.
The challenge lies in that overlap part of life – when the joyous and the shocking collide like a hurricane-churned wave on the shoreline. It is simultaneously devastating + beautiful. It is painfully bloody + blooming. It is both HURT-full + GRACE-full.
I’m going to talk straight to you today. There will not be mincing of words or unnecessary flowery language. The last thing we need right now is vagueness and ANYTHING ELSE that will make us cock our heads in confusion. I came across the picture above a few days ago. It was taken at a wedding a while back during a time that I was giving a lot of attention to taking care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually. I was investing in myself in ways that I have since strayed away from. Seeing this picture was a wake up call to get back there and FAST. I was happier then. I was more in control of what brought me joy then. Life has a way of getting in the way of life, you know? It takes work to reign it back in.
I moved a couple of months ago. And then I helped my parents move a few weeks after that . There has been a monumental amount of packing and sorting and purging and brown boxes and tape ripping ripping ripping from tape guns.
I found so many skewers+tea bags+wandering Q-tips+stacks of magazines+scribbles of recipe ideas+1st grade spelling tests. But even when we say goodbye to more than we think we should, we still end up with exactly 47 boxes too many.
We pack up all of the material things into paper boxes and move them with us because we think they ARE us.
I have had several conversations with some frazzled and worried parents lately and found myself talking them down from the “I’m the worst parent ever” ledge.
There is so much pressure to have perfect kids + perfect lives but there is such a narrow idea of what that perfection actually is. So let me just let you off the hook, loves.
None of you are perfect. All of you are perfect.
It’s Monday and you deserve a high-five just because. If there is the slightest chance it will make your day a bit better… high fives ALL AROUND!! It may be a little early in the day/week/everrrr to talk about this, but it’s on my mind so here goes.
Any other moms + dads out there have right-on-the-cusp-of-puberty-10 year old kid? Lord Jesus help me with the mood swings and the independence exertion and the GIRLS.
I know that title is total BS. We are born broken… straight out of the womb fragile and needy. It’s kind of how Creator designed us. To be incomplete and broken apart from Him.
I know I know… that last sentence was also total BS. We are never apart from Creator. He is in us and around us and above us and below us. He is all things at all times for all of us.
But we forget and that, my loves, is when we feel broken.